Fear of Magic
by lannistersdebt
Summary: Petunia fears what she does not have, and she fears what took what she did have. Written for Round 5 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.


Life for Petunia was not as jolly as she liked to make people think. Oh, she had her fair share of happy days, ecstatic moods, and fantastic news…but as a teenager, things would change whenever her parents remembered that she was not the daughter with magic. She could play the piano flawlessly, changing the atmosphere in any room. She earned excellent grades all through school. She cooked wonderful meals and gave tasteful gifts. She never really put a toe out of line. She was normal and she was the the sister that she thought nobody cared about.

She lived in fear.

It wasn't always like that.

When they were young children, she and Lily got along spectacularly. They played together constantly until they started to attend primary school – but even then, they had the weekends. Often, in the afternoons, they would rush to the park to play before they were called in for food and then homework. They spent stormy nights curled together in bed, holding tight to one another, both scared of the angry thunder and of the shadows the lightning threw on the walls. Petunia taught Lily how to paint her nails, and Lily taught Petunia how to snap. They learned their multiplication tables together, sitting at the kitchen table, sliding each other a slice of apple for every correct answer.

They look out for each other, even though Petunia is the older sister. One day, Lily started flying off the swings and soaring through the air. The first time, it looked like a fluke, but then Lily started staying in the air longer and longer, and Petunia was genuinely frightened. What would happen when luck ran out? Would Lily break her arm? Her leg? Would she even live at all?

Other things started happening too. Lily could grab a flower and make the petals move without even touching them. She could make chairs move. Petunia lost track of what else her sister could do. It was supernatural and strange, and Lily couldn't even explain how or why she could have these abilities when her sister couldn't. Petunia asked her to stop, so they could fit in together, but Lily wouldn't. She couldn't, but Petunia didn't care. She was jealous of her sister, but she was also frightened. She liked to have reasons for everything, but there didn't appear to be any for this phenomenon. She told their parents, then. They were puzzled and concerned, and they cautioned Lily about exploring these new abilities she was discovering, but it didn't do any good.

They were at the park one day when a dirty-looking boy from the neighborhood they avoided managed to convince Lily to talk to him. Petunia tried to warn her sister about him – he was wearing clothes that clearly didn't fit, he didn't know how to act, and his house was in one of the dingy areas that scared the both of them. Lily didn't listen for long; the boy claimed to share her powers and she was just too excited to have a friend that was like her. Soon, it was as though she forgot Petunia even existed.

The boy was right about their powers, which Petunia loathed admitting. A letter came, along with an owl, and it was inviting Lily to the school called Hogwarts. Their parents are happy; they have an explanation for the previously unexplainable. Petunia snuck the letter out of Lily's room long enough to see the name of the headmaster, which she needed in order to put her plan into action. She wrote him a letter explaining that she was close to her sister and couldn't imagine seeing her leave. _"I was wondering, sir, if it would be possible for me to come along to Hogwarts as well. You see, I believe that if I am given the chance and work hard, I too might develop the capacity to utilize the gifts we've been given and that have already manifested in my sister. The courses your school offers sound as though they teach how to use them, after all."_ She had the words memorized for years.

He responded kindly, but was firm that she could not go, and that confirmed to Petunia that her sister was, essentially, being stolen by magic.

Snape showed up at their house more and more that summer. Lily barely noticed as Petunia slipped out behind her, ever dutiful in her responsibilities as the big sister. She coveted the new friendship because she missed being so close with Lily, and she hated what it was based on. Most afternoons, even though Petunia was far enough away that she couldn't hear the two of them, she could see them testing out their magic. It was fascinating but terrifying. What if Snape had stronger powers than Lily and convinced her to fly from some height that was fine for him, but not for her? How could they judge that without testing it? He wouldn't say and would just scowl at her if she dared mention it.

When September came, Petunia tried to act like she didn't care, but she was sad and bitter and jealous. Her sister was gone, off to places unknown to her, with other people. There were going to be new friends, new interests, new skills. They wouldn't see each other for nearly ten months after being with each other for almost every day of their life.

The headmaster had, essentially, told Petunia that she needed to come to terms with being normal. She could do that. She could be mundane, she could be non-magical, she could be herself. She threw herself into school and the piano, and when Lily came home each summer, Petunia tried to bury her jealousy. Their parents marveled over the amazing stories Lily told them about her classes and about magic in general. Petunia tried to be interested, but she couldn't quite bury the jealousy. That was natural, though. That's what happens with loved each other, and Petunia still loved their parents. They doted on her more when Lily was away, but even when she was home, Petunia got enough attention that she didn't feel the need to try to run away. The whole point of younger siblings is overachieving, right? And, deep down, Petunia was _proud_. Even if she couldn't have unique capabilities, she was related to someone who did, and Lily was talented. She won't admit that, though.

No, admitting that Lily was good at magic just wouldn't do. Magic was what killed her. It lured her away, enamored her, and then it took her. Magic scared Petunia, and she was determined, from the moment she heard the news, that it would never again take the life of someone she loved.

* * *

 _ **a/n;**_

This was written for Round 5 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition.  
I write as Beater 1 for the Montrose Magpies.  
My prompt this round was the character in our Muggle box - Petunia Dursley (nee Evans).  
My additional prompts were:  
\- 6 (word): piano  
\- 11 (word): atmosphere


End file.
